Oh No, Our Daddy is the BIG 3-0!!!

I think this might be the sweetest thing this lady has ever done =0) 

Sorry Weight Watchers, I'm afraid I Might Not Listen....

When I entered my weight this morning, this was the message I got:

You lost weight! Keep making sure you’re losing weight the healthy way – sticking to the Good Health Guidelines, using up your daily  PointsPlus  Target, and focusing on nutritious Power Foods.


Please note:You’re probably excited to be losing weight, but you’re losing faster than is recommended. Although it’s normal to lose over 2 lbs in one week, if you lose more than an average of 2 lbs per week over a 4-week period, this could pose health risks, such as heart irregularities, anemia or loss of muscle mass. Please slow your weight loss; your doctor can help you do this if you’re not sure how.

Sorry WW, I'm afraid I am going to have to ignore your advice. I'm pretty sure I have goals to meet, swimsuits to wear and a closet full of clothes waiting to be worn =0) Instead, maybe you should give this advice to my beastly little lady who seems to be sucking it all out of me these days!!

Facing the Beast: Week 9, I DID IT!!!

WOOO HOOOO. I managed to lose the 3 pounds I had hoped for. This morning when I stepped on the scale it became my best friend. Right there in front of my own eyes stared a number I hadn't seen in A VERY LONG time. 159.4. Don't get me wrong, I am nowhere near where I would like to be, but I am out of the 160's. I spent a few too many years in this range and something about 150's just makes me happy. Another super exciting thing? I am now wearing BRAND NEW PANTS. You wanna know why? Because I had none SMALL enough in my closet to wear. Since starting this journey, I have went from a size 14 to a size 8!! Now, if I could figure out how to make my gut as small as my waist we'd be good =0) Im guessing doing something like staying away from The Cheesecake Factory to celebrate my friend, Kari's birthday might be a good start, but Im afraid that is NOT going to happen!!

Milestones for Miss R: Moving into the crib

I know I have said this a lot lately, but it seems impossible that my baby is already so big. Although I have to be honest and say that I really do not wish to relive the first few months of her life, at the same time I am sad at how fast the time is going. Tonight as I sit here she is sleeping in her crib for the first time. From the time we came home from the hospital until recently I felt like we were living in survival mode. I had no idea how hard it would be to adjust to having a freshly turned two year old and a new baby. I have since learned. However, I have had to learn that you do what you have to do to get by. Take for example sleeping arrangements. With Nora we DID NOT co-sleep. She had a bassinet in our room, she went to sleep in it at night and woke up in it in the morning. There was never a night where I would sleep with her. At 6 months we moved her to her crib, made her cry it out and never looked back. She slept like a jewel.
Fast forward two years and along comes Reese. Reese was our baby who I have come to think really wished she could have spent three more months in the womb. For the first three months of her life Im pretty certain I did not put her down. If she was awake, she was in the ring sling attached to me. If she was asleep she was either swinging (on high if it was during the day) or in my arms (at night). I have to admit at first I was not a fan. I really did not enjoy waking up with stiff shoulders because I had a child sleep on my arm the entire night. I did not enjoy the limited movement having her in bed with me created. However, after 4.5 months of sleeping this way, I have to say I am going to miss it. In fact, at this very moment I am secretly hoping she wakes up... but then again a full night of sleep would be REALLY nice!

Facing the Beast : Week 8: 1.2 lbs lost

Wow, it doesnt seem possible but I am on week 8 of this little journey. I stepped on the ol beast yesterday fearful that I may have not lost anything and much to my surprise I had. I lost 1.2 pounds. Although this isnt much, it is something and considering I ate a steak dinner at J Alexanders, followed by the biggest piece of carrot cake ever and had a few other slip ups throughout the week, the fact that I lost any was good news to me. I do have to admit that I have been struggling with keeping up writing things down. I have been trying hard to watch what I eat, but have not actually been entering it and making sure I stay within the limits that I have been given. I would really like to have another 3 pound week so I have told myself that I am going to do better this week. Three pounds would get me to reaching another goal. Soon enough, I would LOVE to be able to say I am maintaining my weight... for now, I guess I will just keep whittling my way towards it, one or two pounds at a time =0)

Reese 4 Month Check-up

Reese went to the doctor yesterday for her 4 month check. She is doing great. However, her shots kicked her little booty this time. At the appointment she weighed 13 lbs. 5 oz (which no, she did not lose five pounds, their scale mustve been wrong when we were there before) and was 25 1/4 inches long. The weight puts her in the 50% and the height puts her in the 75%. I cannot remember her measurements for her head, but I do recall that it was in the 95%. Once again, I am thankful that like her big sister they both waited until AFTER they were born to grow their big noggins =0)

Milestones (for Miss R)

I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. For some reason this whole Reese growing up thing is hard on me. With Nora I honestly looked forward to her getting bigger. I looked forward to her growing up and could not wait until she got old enough for us to do stuff together. I looked forward to the days when she could go to playgroups, etc. With Reese, this is not the case. I want her to stay my baby forever. I do not like that she is 18 pounds, I do not like that she has celebrated 4 months of life, I do not like the fact that her hair is growing, and I do not like that she JUST ROLLED OVER. Oh little bean, will you please slow down? I want you to be my baby forever!

Sticker Chart Oh How I Thought You Were the Answer...

Well our sticker chart was a success. Or so I thought. Today was day four and guess what? We failed. Not only did we fail, but the little lady looked straight at me and said "Mama, I dont need a sticker today. I'll get one tomorrow. I awake. I go to Grandma's later". Guess what? She didnt sleep. 45 minutes later when I let her out of her room, she looked right at me and said "no sticker today, no icecream tomorrow".  I couldnt believe it. In fact, I still can't. I'm not sure what Im going to do about this little lady and her determination to be in control. It amazes me and at the same time makes me ANGRY. I constantly question why an individual would want to fight sleep and then act like a bear because they are TIRED. As an adult I LOVE sleep and would honestly do just about anything to get as much of it as I can.
What I find really ironic about this whole situation is that as it was happening I was sitting on my computer reading a blog that I had never read before. Just when I was about to get really frustrated I came across this:

Parents, remember that now is your opportunity.

You may feel harrassed as you struggle

Through the days with children,

but you are living the happiest

and most golden years of your life.

As you tuck them inot their beds at night,

please be kind to them.

Let them hear a kind voice amid all the

angry, vile voices they WILL hear throughout their life.

Let there be an anchor to which these little ones

can turn when all else fails.

The Lord help you so to do.....

After reading this, I got up from the couch, wiped my anger away and walked up the stairs to greet my ornery, stubborn, determined, sweet two year old who hadn't taken a nap with a smile on my face and a rejuvenated feeling that although life was not going as planned there was no need to be upset. Afterall, maybe just maybe she is doing this so she can spend those precious moments with her Mama =0)

The Beast Was Nice To Me =0)

Yesterday was the dreaded Wednesday. The day where I have to face the beast otherwise known as the scale and hope and pray that I have lost something other than my mind for the week. I did it yesterday and much to my surprise I had the most successful week I have had in a while. I lost 3.4 pounds!! 3.4 pounds doesnt seem like much to me, but in the grand scheme of things this week was BIG. It was big because this was not the only goal I hit. I also hit a goal of losing FIFTY pounds since having Reese!! It seems impossible to think that I really could have weighed that much more than I do now, but then again I think about it and remember I couldnt even get into the right side of my car because my left leg wouldnt lift up that high! This week was also the half way point of the total weight I would like to lose. I have now lost about 20 pounds. Ideally I would like to lose 20 more. If I can get there I will be back where I was when I was the skinniest I have ever been since high school. I felt good then. I could pretty much walk into any store and wear anything. It's been awhile since I could do that. Heck, its been awhile since I have been able to wear jeans and be comfortable!
Although I only lost 3 pounds, overall this week was big and I need to keep reminding myself of this. The good thing is I am feeling good about myself, and although my body is nowhere near where I would like for it be, at least when I look in the mirror, I know I am working towards making it better, and that alone makes me feel good!

The Invisible Mom

I read the following one of my friends blogs. I had never heard it before, but boy is it so true. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did...
The Invisible Mom
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.' Some days I'm a crystal ball; 'Where's my other sock?, Where's my phone?, What's for dinner?'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in themorning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, 'You're gonna love it there...'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to theworld by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.

Success

Now lets just hope we can have 4 more lucky days!!! Afterall, the girl wants her pink icecream!

Struggling...

Being a parent is hard. Being a parent of a toddler is even harder. We have officially reached the point in Nora's life where obedience all the time is a thing of the past. The thing we stuggle with the most are the things that only she controls. Eating, sleeping and peeing. Unfortunately Nora is very stubborn. She is also very independent. I'm not sure where she gets any of that from, but Ryan says that if you look up the definition of stubborn in the dictionary there are no words, just a picture of myself. Anywho, I was at a loss. I had tried everything I knew to appropriately handle the situation and I was failing miserably. I had reached the point of threats. I had screamed, I had even SPANKED my kiddo (multiple times). Every form of discipline I knew was a joke. I would spank her and she would laugh. I would put her in time-out and then she would start asking to go for "fun". I would yell at her and she would tell me "Mamma, thats not nice". I WAS FRUSTRATED. So today the Parents as Teachers lady came. I told her of my problems and she suggested a timer, a rewards chart and a picture schedule. I immediately thought the timer might be a good idea, so as soon as she left the girls and I were off to Target to buy our timer and some stickers for the reward chart. I talked to Nora about how we were going to Target to pick out stickers for our chart, made the chart and asked her what she wanted to earn. She told me icecream. I explained she had to earn five stickers to get the icecream and she said okay. At naptime we went upstairs with our timer, I helped her set it and I told her you cannot get out of your bed until this goes off. Mommy will be listening and if she hears anything bad going on in here you will not get your sticker. I left the room fully expecting to have to redirect her back to her bed multiple times, however, instead after 25 minutes I heard dead silence. I went upstairs to snag the timer (heaven forbid it wake her up after only an hour) and she was sound asleep!! I'm crossing my fingers that this whole timer thing works. Afterall it did take a damn potty watch to get her to consistently go pee on the toilet. Why can't my child just listen to what I tell her to do? Oh yeah, because she IS my child!

18 Pounds 8 Ounces.... REALLY???

Holy smokes. I took Reese to the doctor the other day. She had developed a cold, hadn't slept worth a darn the previous two nights and I was paranoid she might have an ear infection. Thankfully she did not. The doctor said it was possible she had RSV but didnt test for it, and after leaving I really think she just has a cold. She doesnt act bad, just is snotty and is back to sleeping just fine. What we did find out for certain is that she weighs EIGHTEEN POUNDS EIGHT OUNCES. I was in shock. The nurse weighed her and I made her weigh her again. Guess what? The scale said the same thing. Next to the baby scale stood my big girl, Nora on the big kid scale and guess what she weighs (at 30 months) 26 pounds (with her boots on). I guess we can tell who is going to the big girl around our house =0)

Facing the Beast

Okay, I did it. First thing this morning I woke up and jumped on that good ol scale. Much to my surprise I did lose a little bit, but not nearly as much as I would like to. I lost 1.4 lbs. I don't know why I am dissapointed. According to Weight Watchers I should not be losing more than 2 lbs/ week and really since I am nursing the American Association of Pediatrics states I should lose no more than 1/week so overall I am doing really well. I guess the fact of the matter is that I am realizing it's going to be a looooooonnnnnnngggg haul to reach skinny and the thought of possibly having to do this for another THIRTY weeks is a bit too much to bear. Maybe, just maybe I will get lucky and lose more than 2 pounds soon. Afterall I did have that one week where I lost EIGHT... but then again looking back, clearly I must've just not eaten that week! Oh well, back to this journey I go... By summertime I WILL be (somewhat) skinny!!

Adventures in Dieting Week I Dunno:

I have to be honest and say that today is my weigh in day. It is now 9 pm and I havent stepped on the scale. I am scared to. I haven't been too faithful to the ol diet and Im afraid that this week might just be the week where I lost nothing, nada, zip, ZERO pounds. I know I am going to have to face the beast soon, but for now I am not doing it. I think I will wait until tomorrow morning. What I do know is that I am sitting here HUNGRY. I have eaten my meals for the day, had snacks and as far as I can tell used all of my points. At this very moment I want to go into my kitchen, pull out the Rotel dip Ryan made earlier, eat it all, and then make cupcakes and eat them. With cravings like this, one would think that I was pregnant, but thanks to the good ol IUD I know I am not. Instead I am one HUNGRY, GROUCHY, DIETING__________ that wants to EAT MORE FOOD!!!!

P.S
I guess you could consider this my warning that if I am a complete _________ around you, don't take it personally, I promise to be nicer as soon as I lose another 30 pounds! Until then, I apologize for my behavior. This whole losing weight when you are a JUNK FOOD JUNKY is HARD work!