Tuesday, October 1, 2013

The Shitcident

Okay, let me just brief this with the reminder that I told you I was going to start talking about the real life here at the Miller's... SOOO here it goes.
Today was a fantastic day. No really. I couldn't have asked for it to go any better. It was our early day for school, so I managed to get both the girls to school on time clear across town with no rush. I honestly thought to myself as I pullled into Reese's school that things were oddly perfect. There was no traffic in the usual spots and we were going to walk in nearly 10 minutes early, despite leaving the same time as we always do AND I was even showered. I dropped her off, spent two and a half hours by MYSELF doing what I wanted to do and then was lucky enough to get to go to lunch with my husband on the Plaza with a oddly well behaved child. On the way home, oddly well behaved child fell asleep and took her first nap in MONTHS. I was certain she was going to wake up with a fever, but much to my surprise she slept for nearly two hours and woke up fever free.... I may or may not have rolled down all the windows in my car, pulled it into my garage and left her there to nap while I decorated the house SANS KIDDO HELP for Halloween. I also may not have driven her to pick up Nora and left her in the running locked car, with the emergency break on while I ran in to get her big sister from school for fear that if I woke her up she might have peed her pants while sleeping and then I would have a big problem on my hands... Nope, not me...
Best day ever...UNTIL the Shitcident. Yep, you heard me right... SHITcident... It was a doozy... I was busy getting ready to head off to church for the evening finishing up dinner in the kitchen and getting the girls plates made. Meanwhile, the girls (yes both of them) were in the bathroom pooping. Reese on her potty chair, Nora on the toilet. Knowing this was what was going on, I went to check on them. The door was locked which is never a good thing so I demanded it be open. MISTAKE. Rule follower Nora jumped right off the toilet to open the door... problem is poop must have been coming out of her butt at the same time because it was EVERYWHERE. Meanwhile impatient Reese who had finished her business had gotten tired of Nora's hogging of the regular toilet and decided dumping her potty chair debris into the SINK. Being overly anal about the cleanliness of my main floor bathroom (I may or may not clean it multiple times per day) I FREAKED... I used words I shouldn't have. I screamed at my children, and then after I scrubbed them with nearly a package of wipes, I scrubbed the floor, the toilet, the walls and oh yes, the shit filled sink... It was a fantastic time.... all the while after I got my feelings out, Nora said to me, "but Mom, you said to open the door"...and I thought to myself, little girl, you are right. I did... but next time it is okay if you wait until the shit stops coming out of your ass =0)


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