Friday, February 8, 2013

Life.. One big tangled web

Life seems to be getting the best of me lately, and to be honest, I don't even realize the craziness of it until I get a wierd look, a "say what", or a wierd vibe sent my way. The other day, I was watching a presentation on parenting and a picture of children acting all sorts of innappropriate followed a picture of what parents view the picture perfect life with children would be like. The funny thing is that all the picture perfect pictures were of little tiny infants.. Ya know, before they could talk. Before they could walk, climb, or have much of any say in their lives... Before disabilities developed. Before everybody had all sorts of obligations and places to go and lives of their own.
Life is SO busy for me, I honestly can't say that I have the time to stop, think and soak it all in all that often. I just go from one task to the next praying I don't forget pajama day at school, what I am supposed to bring to the next playdate, or when I said I was going to go wherever with my friends. Thankfully my friends know this about me, so they are really kind about providing me with all sorts of reminders of where they want me to be when =0)  I also forget things like the fact that three days a week, one of my children is involved in services for kids with special needs, or that I am becoming friends with children of special needs not because I work for an agency that serves people with special needs, but because MY CHILD IS ONE. I also forget that my Mom is inevitably going to die from cancer. Not today, but sooner than I had ever wished for her to move on to heaven prior to this nasty cancer diagnosis. Folks, this might be a bit crazy, but I REALLY do forget these things, because I am BUSY. Prior to having two active children, I had no idea what busy was like. I could say I was going to accomplish something and it would get done. I would say I was going to be somewhere, and I was there. I just THOUGHT my house was dirty, cluttered, overflowing with laundry, etc. Now it IS and no matter how hard I try to keep up, it just doesn't happen, because I am BUSY. I  could plan something months in advance and have it completed and ready to go months in advance. Believe it or not, less than two years ago, I had my daughter's halloween costume handmade by me ready to go in AUGUST. I also had handmade outfits for made for both children. This year, they were store bought KU cheerleaders for Halloween and they have not had a handmade clothing item since last Easter. Life has changed. My expectations and hopes for what I would get to do and act like as a mother have morphed. We are SURVIVING. I am realizing how life REALLY is. Someday, I hope the craziness we are experiencing at this time slows down, bur for now we are going to make the best of it, even if it isn't picture perfect!


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