Monday, April 4, 2011


I've been struggling lately. Struggling with a decision I made that I am not certain was a good one. I am not yet ready to publicly announce what that decision was, but those of you closest to me probably already know. It's a decision that could easily be undone, but Im not certain Im ready for that. We'll just say that what I thought was a great plan is not going as easily as I hoped. Reason why? This little girl:
This little girl LOVES.HER. MAMA. A LOT. Maybe a little too much. She won't take a bottle. She won't eat for others, and she makes herself VOMIT when left with another person. Sometimes if in a large crowd situation (ie family parties, etc) where she thinks somebody else might want to hold her all it takes for a complete meltdown to happen is somebody talking to her. Im NOT joking. On top of all of this because she will not take a bottle while I am gone she has taken to reverse cycling. At first it was only on the night of the day I work, but now, it has become an every night affair, except shes not reverse cycling on the days I am home, oh no, instead she is nursing every.three.hours straight through the day AND night. Im not going to lie, its TOUGH. Im tired and I don't know what to do. I want to "fix" it, but have been told by too many that its likely nothing that on Reese's end I can fix. That is, unless I decide to fix the other end. Ugh, decisions, decisions. Why do they always have to be so tough? Oh how I wish I could go back to the days when life was simple!


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